there are things we see in the movies that we just hate. you know, those tired cliches, the godawful rip-offs, the sequels to movies that weren't even good enough for the theaters.

well, it's time to list those things you never want to see hollywood do again. ever!


as I have a lot, I will break mine down by genre. this is purely optional

action/adventure:

never, ever put the hero in a situation where he must choose who to save, only to have him save both:
if you lack the testicular fortitude to make the hero choose, and to kill off the loser, you should write crappy, sappy romantic comedies that serve no purpose other than to rob me of $8 and get my girlfriend in a romantic mood. that's it. stay away from anything else.

never ever give a kid a speaking role:
they suck. they are always annoying. just leave them out, and put some cute 19 year old cheerleader type in. they are also annoying, but at least they look good.

no more slow motion, bullet time, or wire-fu:
it's been done. come up with something else. it just looks stupid now. martial arts is only exciting when it is at least remotely realistic, and wire-fu just feels like pro wrestling (fake, boring, scripted crap) and bullet time just slows down what could have been a cool action sequence, and is equivalent to...... p..e..o..p..l..e...... t..a..l..k..i..n..g...... v..e..r..y...... s..l..o..w..l..y. even before bullet time, slow motion was overused. it should be used rarely if ever, and only when there is good reason. filler and lack of directorial ability are not good reasons. case and point; action should feel real.

never have a hero out running an explosion:
explosions travel at outrageous speeds, far beyond any human could ever dream to reach, outside of a jet aircraft. and for all other possibilities, see the previous rule.

stop skimping on the story:
explosions and fisticuffs do not make a good movie. they make a fun bbq on a saturday afternoon, but not a good movie. if you can spend $50 million on special fx, I expect you to pay more than $29.95 for a cut and paste script.

no more bottomless clips:
yeah, I know, he's reloading while I'm not looking. right. look, taking the extra minute to count the number of rounds fired during editing is worth it. if the hero is using a revolver and fires 17 rounds, it just doesn't feel right. Hollywood has gotten better about this, as they have learned that reloading allows for dialogue, as well as suspense. but they still have far too many jesus guns (from 2 bullets came 2 thousand, it's a miracle)




horror/suspense/thriller:

no more slasher movies:
they suck. they are the lowest form of crap. I am about ready to do some slashing of my own. this gripe requires no more explanation. it's a no brainer.

less ewww and eeek, and more oh my god, and holy crap:
almost all horror(ish) movies rely on either gore or cheap surprises. both are pathetic when compared to more cerebral thrills and chills. seeing someones head melting or having something pop up onto the screen is crap. the reaction these movies create should come from the story, the characters, drama, the atmosphere, the suspense, the slow realization of just how sinister the villain really is. attack my mind, not my reflexes.

stop making generic, 1 dimensional bad guys:
monster movies and creature features are only as good as the monster or creature they are about. this means, the creature must be interesting, and must hold my attention. give it some personality, some depth. bram stokers dracula was great, because I actually wanted to see more of dracula. he wasn't just an evil killing machine, he was a tortured soul, a tragic figure, someone you would pity as much as fear. without something like this, it might as well be something that escaped from the zoo.

if you cant do it right, don't do it at all:
vampires aren't killed by sunlight, they just need sunglasses. oh, and even though they are hurt by crosses and holy water, they have nothing to do with god or anything. yeah. if you have to break all the rules, or cant make the creature look like something that isn't retarded *cough*werewolves*cough* then make something else. you're just wasting everyones time and money.

no more overthetop plot twists that defy all logic:
some of those damn thrillers are worse than soap operas. "that's my evil twin sister" "I thought she was dead" "she is!" uuuggghhh! make it go away! if it isn't logical, if it isn't believable, if it isn't obvious once you know what to look for, leave it out of the damn movie. if you do not understand, then just run every script past someone who isn't a retard by simian standards. there are smart people out there, they just tend to live outside of hollywood.

bring back mysteries:
the thriller has replaced the classic mystery. that is wrong. bring back the intelligent whodunnit. now! I don't care if brain dead audiences don't like them, you can afford to make movies that arent about big box office numbers. that's why you always release some godawful tripe, overblown bio-pic, or political propaganda during oscar season. no one goes to those either.


scifi:

no more wars between man and machine:
someone has to stop programming all the robots to kill the humans.it's really getting out of hand. it was kind of interesting once, long ago, now it's just laziness. please find another dead horse to beat.

never write about aliens invading without considering what they want, and how they would really do it:
aliens smart enough build an intergalactic starcruiser have probably figured out how to shoot things from orbit. and, I doubt very much they would bother invading earth, if they are allergic to water. and, they probably don't have to infiltrate and disguise themeselves as us, if they can just show up and start blasting. when the only good depiction of hostile aliens in years is in a video game (Halo ) you know something is wrong.

don't let anyone become their own grandfather:
time travel is always screwed up. don't use it any more. maybe a few decades from now you can revisit the idea, once it's had some time to rest, and people have forgotten all the crap. until then, no more!

it's the end of the world as we know, and I feel gypped!
no more post apocalyptic dystopian futures. seriously, I'm ready for the end of the world if it means I never have to see this one again.

damn that corporation:
the evil corporation.... oooooohhhhh. look, we get it, you hate big faceless multinational companies. there is nothing worse than hearing about "the corporation" a company so evil, it doesnt have a name. this cliche has gotten worse than the big nasty conspiracy (still none of those either, ok?)

there isn't even time for all the other scifi cliches. look, you know what I'm talking about, go punish yourself!

comedy

ok, we get it, you're a dumb@$$:
stupid people are only funny for so long. and only when they are written by intelligent people. after dumb and dumber, and maybe beavis and butthead do america, there is nothing left. they cow has been milked dry. please come up with something else

my, isnt that nice, he's eating dog $#!t:
jokes that revolve around this reaction: "EWWWWW" should not be targeted at anyone who has passed the 3rd grade. this rule should be made law, and violations, punishable by disembowelment.

well I never!
yes, sacred cows do make the best hamburgers, but only when it feels real. when a movie just tries to be shocking for the hell of it, or worse, when they feel they must only offend groups that aren't protected by pc thugs, or worst of all, when they hold back and deal out moderately offensive jabs at every groups in equal proportion, so as not to alienate an audience, that just makes me want to puke. it's pathetic and a clear sign that someone doesn't have the balls to go all the way.







that's enough for now, let's see what you guys think

Hey, great topic!

I really agree on what you said about slasher movies. I'm sick of the way they're all the same. Every one made in the past 5-10 years with the exception of "Scream" is a load of arse.

Any Slasher Movie

Bunch of teenagers go to deserted house/dark forest/combination of the two to party/have sex/get drunk. The car breaking down in aforesaid forest is optional.
The group of teenagers includes the witty one who spews out an endless stream of sex-jokes, the pretty cheerleader type, the shy boy who secretly likes said cheerleader, the obligatory black girl (to show that they really don't care what colour your skin is) and the lovey dovey couple.
Lovey Dovey's are the first to go, but not before they have lots of sex. At least one tit-shot is necessary.
Witty One dies later on, immediately after saying something funny and ironic. Black Girl will also die.
One of the victims will be decapitated.

The films climax involves Cheerleader getting kidnapped by the killer (who will turn out to be the janitor/sheriff, will use a sharp-edged weapon such as a knife, and will possibly wear a mask). Shy Boy kills the killer (Note: killing will involve fire. Notice this: every single movie climax involves fire. Think about it.), professes his love to the Cheerleader, and they share a kiss as the police turn up.

The End.




One other thing I'm sick of is BAD CGI in movies. If you don't have the money to make it realistic, then stop bloody doing it! It looks crap! Grrr!


Thanks again makeitstop, this is a great topic to let off some steam.

you pretty much hit the ball out of the park kid...but a few extras i will add...

I freaking hate all the damn crappy comic book movies being optioned...dont ge me wrong..x-men 1 and 2 were good so were the blades..allthough 3 lacked a good story...good action and hot jessica beal made up for it...but movies like hellboy and daredevil were so crappy i wanted to beat the crap out of the directors. Please no more half assed jobs on the movies...they just expect us to pay money to see every comic book movie. its rediculous. I for one will not stand for it. i want something different.

I am begining to hate sequals...especially crappy ones...charlies angels 2? yeah the first one was crappy...why not make sequals to movies that are good? OH WAIT...because film makers who make good movies know that there will only be one....STOP WITH THE MILLIONS OF CRAPPY SEQUALS...some are meant to be trilogys and thats fine...but when you make a movie and then 5 years later come out with a sequal that sucks...its dumb

thats about all i have to say

One thing is wrong:

It can be very well made, like in Fight Club, 2LDK or Equililbrium, slow-mo for only a few secs, can look very good. Of course, the longer ones can be terrible, it depends on how it is used.
Other really crappy things in action movies: Extreme long final fights between the main character and the villain, the main character nearly looses, but in the last few moments he manages it to defeat the villain by a completely unexpected move:
1. Everybody KNOWS that the good guy will win, the unexpected move is everything but unexpected!
2. It was shown million of times, now STOP IT!
3. A short, good fight can be way more impressive.

If you wanna do sth that surprises the audience, make a long final fight were the main character looses. At least, that would be unexpected

i have to dissagree....daredevil is a good example...the movie built to it and the fight was like 30 seconds long...i was pissed. i like long winded fights...maybe not that loing but i hate short final fights when they should be all cool and stuiff. dont build unless they will deliver

I defintely agree with Zero on the comic adaptations. X-men 1 & 2, yes. Spiderman 1 & 2, I liked them. But when they come out with all these really obscure comics that nobody who isn't an expert in comic-bookery will know about, that's just silly.

OK. that's true... well, then let's say: The lenght is not that important as long as the fight is good. But these kind of final fights like in Spiderman 1 are in my opinion horrible, everyone knows what will happen anyway, I think if that fight was shorter, it would've been better.

Yeah but even if you know what will happen you just have to enjoy the shot and Sam Raimi's mastery ,of course there is no real suspens but whatever ! it's so well directed !

I have to say, as far as the good guys ALWAYS winning is concerned, I agree. I'm sick of this, as it takes the excitement out of films. At least if, say, 20% of the time the bad guy won, then the final fights would be a lot more tense. The only problem then, however, would be that if the hero dies after all that, the film would be a bit of an anti-climax. I guess it's just one of those things that you can do nothing about...

plus if the heor were to die..i would demand my money back...especially if it were spiderman...i mean if its a drama and the hero dies thats pretty common...

i much prefer realistic endings.......like Kids or Lost in Translation or Leaving Las Vegs or Hero. that kind of stuff happens in real life. now if it's spiderman or something like that then i can see why the hero must win

hero pissed me off...i thought the endind was kinda sucky...why did he have to die like that? i mean they built so he couldnt die and then bam...amillion arrows kill him it kinda pissed me off.

i agree that it wasn't the best ending for the film.......and it pissed off a lot of people, but i loved it simply because no one expected him to go out like a biotch and it kind of gave me that "hmmm well that was intresting" feeling, which i really like in a movie

for some reason i really get pulled into the movies that don't have much character development. to me they seem more real and easier to believe

im totally the oppisit...if there is no character developement its hard for me to get involved in a movie. call me crazy but if they could cut an explosion scene so they can make the characters more developed i say do it.

I like it when movies slowly reveal the characters. what I hate, is when the characters grow, and learn some great life lesson in a span of 2 hours. though it can be done, often, it just feels forced. most people dont change quickly, without something that totally shatters their life and possibly their sanity. one little moment is almost never enough to cause any lasting effect. and since movies are rarely long enough to facilitate a realistic change in a character (without sacrificing the rest of the plot and all the other characters) most fall back on cliches and cheap plot twists.

oh, and thanks for spoiling the ending!

a few more:

to be continued:
I payed for a whole movie, so I expect to see a whole movie! if you cant fit it into 2 hours, make it 3 hours. if you dont have the balls to make a long movie, find a way to split into 2 whole movies (like star wars) and if you dont have the skill to do that, stop making movies!

dont blame me, I voted for stalin:
stop putting your politics into the movies. we dont give a $#!t what you holly wood types think. just because you CAN shove your insane/idiotic opinions down our throats, doesnt mean you should. also, when this is done in a kids movie, you should lose your damn job, because kids dont need more politically motivated bull$#!t (they get enough of that at school) and "documentaries" that are motivated purely by politics, should no longer be called documentaries, but instead should be officially labeled propoganda.

That's right - get it off your chest makeitstop. What the hell are you saying about the length of movies? Who are you talking to?

if you cant fit it into 2 hours, make it 3 hours. if you dont have the balls to make a long movie, find a way to split into 2 whole movies

Isn't that what most directors do? So what's the problem. Who's bumped you off makeitstop? Who's made detriment your filmic experience?

stop putting your politics into the movies. we dont give a $#!t what you holly wood types think

Any films in particular?

when this is done in a kids movie, you should lose your damn job, because kids dont need more politically motivated bull$#!t

Any kids films in particular? I don't understand - why the beef with politics? Politics have to exist makeitstop - I thought you of all people should realize that. Even cavola has a politial aspect to it. You're a moderator - so you get to have a special influence on Jones, and can use your power to have posts deleted at your leisure, even posts that you disagree with. That's politics old boy. My point is there are good politics and bad politics, all relative or course (confusing eh), and depending on the viewpoint of the director and his audience the political message of the film will be seen as good or bad. I think we should definately get more political with childrens films. Give them a cartoon version of the kennedy assassination, and maybe one of the new world order meeting at bohemian grove in the middle of the night to sacrifice the effigy of a small child to a giant owl. Kids need to be woken up early, that way the human race will have a future. The media is all about freedom of information makeitstop. Ban political films and your supressing a huge and very influential way for that information to reach us. If you're secure with your own viewpoints then a films political ideologies shoudn't upset you, but think about this; you could maybe catch a film that'd make you think about a political issue in a different way, enlighten you as such. It's all subjective - so why bother getting our knickers in a twist over it. Any intelligent person knows it's just a film and it's made by a director, and the director too has a subjective outlook, or pretentions towards an objective outlook. Outlooks outlooks outlooks, all subject to question. Phew, Just enjoy it - that's what I say.

documentaries" that are motivated purely by politics, should no longer be called documentaries, but instead should be officially labeled propoganda.

Fair point. I've just looked up the definition to propaganda and it says: Information that is often biased or misleading, used to promote a political cause or point of view. I'm thinking about Micheal Moore's documentaries in particular - they are pretty sensationalist, but I'm not sure how misleading.... If you think about it rationally not all documentaries can be misleading, some have to be quite close to the mark. O.k, so what's the alternative, to ask 'how can we ever REALLY know the truth?' and give up? Not me man. I know what I've seen, and I reckon there are some dodgy bastards running the show. That's my 'biased' opinion. I could outline a more objective one so as to cover many other less probable possibilities, but I can't be bothered. Not now anyway.
My word - I didn't see your mammoth post on the first page. Have to go to bed - i'll deal with that another time.

"I just got my nails done...."

STOP BEING A WHINY PANSY! If you're going to undergo a large project... then DO IT!!! I am sick and tired of watching a movie that for the storyline should be awesome and worth my money and time and seeing some cheap piece of crap cause the Director found out he didnt have enough of a budget to do what he wanted. If you're going to commit to a large movie project... COMMIT TO IT!

"what was that?"

OK JUST STOP! Its been overused in every freaking horror film ever made and by this time everyone knows when stuff is coming because of it! Everytime you go to watch a horror film the SAME EXACT SCENE is in everyone. One of our main characters is in a dark room (who hasn't seen that before) and their back is always to whatever horror is there, then they turn around and light hits the thing and they scream. I don't even like horror films but if I watch one I dont want to be writing the story myself! If I can sit there and say, and right now somethings gonna jump out at her.... oh look there it was. JUST STOP!

"I'm going to take a shower now"

Dear God! It was done in Psycho! No more kill the girl in the shower scenes! STOP IT!

"0:05...0:04....0:03....0:02....0:01....kaboom!"

MAKE THE THING EXPLODE!!!!!!!!!!! We've all seen it... everytime theres a bomb what happens, someone cuts the right wire at the very last second and the little clock stops at 0:01...... WTF!! The only difference I've seen in this is Goldfinger with Sean Connery...... and even then it was stopped on 0:07..... like noone saw that coming. CUT THE WRONG WIRE! DONT CUT IT IN TIME! or I know.... JUST RUN AWAY!

Haha, yeah that bomb thing is an awful cliché, as is "what was that?".

Did I mention that I hate cheap CGI? Cheap CGI looks, to me, no better than the model cyclops in the Sinbad movies. Only difference is, the Sinbad movies had the excuse of being 50 years earlier than CGI.

agreed...... although I give them their respect. It is extrememly hard to make really good CGI

If you're going to commit to a large movie project... COMMIT TO IT!

i'm not sure with what you mean by "COMMIT TO IT"

MAKE THE THING EXPLODE!!!!!!!!!!!

they made it explode in The Sum Of All Fears. while I appreciated that it didn't get to an annoying countdown-wire cutting scene, the movie still sucked.


though it can be done, often, it just feels forced.

case in point: Angel Eyes

Don't undergo a huge project (a movie that even just in script and storyline is going to be a feat to recreate right on screen 'Such as Lord of the Rings') and then not give it what it deserves. I hate it when people write or take a storyline that could be a huge hit and then they dont engross themselves in it enough and it flops because of poor production. One of these coming up is War of the Worlds... now if the directors do it right.... it'll be a big hit, if they just od it half ass...... its going to get bad reviews. Is it the movies fault? no its an awesome storyline.... its the directors and producers fault for decided to do a big storyline movie and then not giving it the attention it needs.

NO MORE MOVIES ABOUT MAKING MOVIES!

Bored with the black leather jacket and shades look...superb in Blade and The Matrix, starting to wear thin in Equilibrium, tedious in Underworld and everything since.

Its no longer cool, just derivative and cliched.

Just watched Constantine and honestly the first thing that impressed me was the shirt and tie look of the hero...it didn't save the film but my teeth didn't grate like they do when now confronted by a hero that's walked stright out of the Blue Oyster Club on Village People Appreciation Night...

Yeah, come to think of it, that is an awful cliché. You don't need to have cool clothes to be a cool hero. Look at Bruce Willis in Die Hard - a dirty vest and some trousers. He didn't even have any shoes, but he still managed to kick a$$ and take names.

the cool thing about the Matrix is that everyone had their own little style....Cypher was usually in red glasses, Switch in all white, Trinity in black skin tight shiny PPG or whatever it was, Neo in all black dull, morpheus in black alligator or whatever his jacket was made out of.

underworld everyone just kind of had the same look

I see what you mean. It's easy to mistake "The Matrix" as clichéd, because so many people have copied it, but at the time it was truly original. I've never seen Reloaded or Revolutions, but I have the original on DVD - it ruled.
I think Johnny Depp looks cool in "Pirates". It's probably a combination of the eye-shadow, the hat, and the coolest walk ever, but it all works somehow.

he was pretty cool, but their were too many "in the navy" kind of jokes.

there are alot of crap reuse ideas out there now. Even down to the fact that they're starting to take the p*** out of it. Example in Galaxy Quest that uses almost half the cliches that are out there. The ships counter not stoping til one even though they pressed the button well in advance. I think that film was good even down to have sigourney weaver as really just a big boobs women on a star ship.

i think maybe the reason so many ideas get repeated is that there is a new audience constantly been born. There making remakes of war of the world because the original has film quality surpassed by some modest cartoons. And children and teenagers are reluctent to watch the classics.
(unless your like me and had them forced on you and said it was for your own good, which actually it is.) I've seen the trailer to the new charlies chocolate factory. it really looks crap.

i cant agree with what all you guys are saying because im only 16 and still enjoying films today. But no doudt that if it keeps going am be saying it in a few years

STOP IT

Was Johnny Depp gay in that movie?

he said he was channeling keith richards, but it could just as easily be miss san francisco.

just watching the league of extraordinary gentlemen and it struck me odd that the phantom has all his henchmen equiped with the best guns in the world yet when fighting captain nemo all the henchmen charge forward get too close and then get their butts kick by captain n's punchs and kicks. Why not just shoot him. Anyone seen this having i gun and not using it business elsewhere

That's one of the funniest movies ever. It's worth the cost of the DVD alone for the "19th Century Bobbies with flimsy wooden truncheons VS. Massive Metal Military Tank of Doom scene".

just thinking about what i said on my last post the one timje they didn't do what i said everyone remembers it. When Indiana Jones shoots the guy with the fancy sword work.

that guy was owned by indie...classic scene!!

im tired of cliche chick flicks...its getting rediculous

Do you think we're in sight of certain genres (like romantic-comedies) completely ceasing to be original at all?

If i think of the last couple of chick flicks my sis or gf pulled me to, not one of them has been without an unfeasible number of cliches.

You know what I'm sick of? Movies with the "cant we all just get along" message. No, we cant all just get along. There are bad guys out there who are doing bad things and wont stop til they've gone tits up. And there are other bad guys who are trying to look friendly while preparing to strike when the time is right. If we listened to this rhetoric 70 years ago, we'd be speaking german (or japanese)

No more crappy comic book movies
We all love a good superhero flick, but dammit, none of us really needs to see aquaman on the big screen. I'm not saying obscure comics can't make good movies, but they won't if you don't get some real talent in the writing and directing and actually force them make a quality product before you release it. Just cashing in on the comic book movie craze is evil and wrong.

Aquaman? Really? I'm with you. Why?!

yeah I have noticed the comics all turning to the big screen... its typical though with all the things listed in this discussion. When a hollywood movie does awesome, other movies imitate it.... X-Men was popular and all of a sudden spiderman comes out, a new superman, the fantastic four etc.

Same thing with bullet time, matrix hit it big with it and then a bunch of movies started copying it

Yeah, well, just look at how often 2 movies that are practically identical (on the surface at least) show up at the same time. Right now I'm trying to see the illusionist and the prestige, which are a clear sign that one studio is spying on the other.

and by the way, bullet time remains one of those things which pisses me off (see pg 1)

that annoys me as well...you had volcano and dantes peak at the same time...armageddon and deep impact at the same time...and usually its the one that is the worst that does the best at the box office...

My reply is simple -
STOP MAKING STAR TREK MOVIES!!!

Now that's not fair. 1 decent movie out of 10 isn't that bad.